Aloha!

         I don't know how long it will take until I acknowledge that I am no longer in Hawaii. This inconsistent weather is making it harder every day. So maybe I am someone living in denial. Or maybe someone that dwells on the past. To be honest, it's not as deep as that sounds. What I miss is the beach and the warm, comfortable weather; the really good, unexpected friendships I made, and most of all, of course, the worry-free attitude of it all.

         I went to Hawaii through a Study Abroad program. But I'm not fooling anyone, I was abroad, but not doing too much studying. I did, to my defense, fulfill the class's requirements and got myself an A+. But I really went to Hawaii to, for lack of a better term, "find myself." Eghh. But that really was my intention. I knew that waiting for me in New York I would have my last semester at Hunter College towards my Bachelor's Degree in English. And that then, my life would have to start. Even with taking a year off after Hunter, I knew that the year to come would be crowded with internships, jobs, LSAT practice, essay writing, and most important of all, Law School applications. I just wanted Hawaii to be my refuge before going out to face this storm. I imagined myself reading at the beach, enjoying long contemplative walks, and just being overall philosophical about who the heck I am and where the heck my life was going.

        But instead, I made quick friends and went out. We went out almost every day. Apart from the many activities that were part of the program, we, as a group, did a ton of things ourselves. We went surfing, snorkeling, boogie boarding, and hiking. And in the nighttime we would march the streets of Waikiki looking for entertainment. And we never had to look very far. Waikiki is very friendly to tourists and offers all kinds of diversions we were more than happy to take advantage of. But with all these things going on, I forgot to look for myself. It was not until several days before we were due to return that I realized I hadn't spent much time alone at all. I hadn't contemplated a single thing that mattered or been inspired by anything relevant. Instead of getting too angry at myself, (because I did undeniably have a great time) I decided I would take advantage of the little time I had left and I would do something awesome with it. That's when I decided to jump from a plane. I did it alone and it definitely required some contemplation and a lot of philosophical life-and-death thinking. Maybe it didn't help me find myself the way I originally intended, but it was liberating in a way that made me realize I don't need a Hawaii to take a minute and get to know Maria. I could do it anywhere. And I did.